It is tempting to explain attraction with one word: testosterone.
The reality is more complicated. Hormones can influence sexual motivation and behavior, but they do not provide a simple explanation for why someone notices a particular person, falls in love, pursues a relationship or chooses to remain faithful.
What testosterone can influence
Testosterone is involved in reproductive and sexual biology in both men and women. Differences in testosterone can be associated with aspects of sexual desire, but an association is not a complete explanation of behavior.
People are not controlled by a single chemical switch.
Attraction has a wider context
A person may find someone attractive because of appearance, voice, familiarity, humor, emotional connection, shared values or the circumstances in which they met.
Someone can notice an attractive person without wanting a relationship with them.
Desire is not a command
Even when sexual desire is strong, adults make choices. Values, relationship commitments, personal boundaries and consequences all influence behavior.
A feeling may be involuntary. A decision is different.
Long-term relationships add another layer
Stress, sleep, illness, medication, conflict and emotional closeness can all affect desire.
A change in sexual interest should not automatically be blamed on a hormone. If a significant change persists, medical discussion may be appropriate.
A more useful question
Instead of asking whether testosterone explains someone's attraction, ask:
“What combination of biology, context, relationship experience and personal choice is operating here?”
That leaves room for the complexity of real people.
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